Before you tell me that I’m strong
Know that I hide when I am weak
It’s not because I don’t want comfort
It’s not because I want to look like I’m strong
I hide because I’m scared
And I am weak because I’m scared
And I hide when I am weak
Before you tell me that I’m strong
Please understand that I have blood on me
That I am bleeding, and huddled in my bed
That I have carved that brave expression in my skin
Because my real eyes keep on crying
And I cry when I’m frightened
And I am frightened all the fucking time
And so I cut new eyes that wouldn’t cry
Before you tell me that I’m strong
Take a look – I beg of you –
You’ll see that I am bruised, and bent
My body heaves around a silent scream
Which I find inconvenient to voice to you
And that I flinch when hear people laugh
And hide my eyes when people smile
Before you tell me that I’m strong
I need you to rethink what ‘strong’ looks like
Because you might be wrong or blind
1: “Having the power to move heavy weights
Or perform other physically demanding tasks”
2: “Able to withstand great force or pressure”
And you think that must be me
But I am bowed, and buckling, and afraid
Before you tell me I am strong
Please hear the things I’m telling you
I’m telling you that I have a chance to be strong
And that that chance is very frail
It’s fragile like a moth in the wind
And I am not sure I can make it in the rain this way
And I’m not strong enough to be ’The Strong One’
Before you tell me that I’m strong
Look once at what I really am
A kid who grew up almost all the way
And who is trying to be strong
And who is almost washed off her feet
By the weight of being strong alone
When all you wanted was to be able to rest
Before you tell me that I’m strong
Think what you do when you think I am strong
Do you pity me? Treat me gently?
Do you let me lean on you?
Or do you lean on me… Push more…
Wonder why I can’t do what a strong person would do…
You don’t account for weaknesses in me
Before you tell me that I’m strong
Comprehend this sentence
Sentencing me
Being seen as strong
Takes more strength
Than anything else
In my fucking life